Wow, I’m so excited you decided to elope in Washington! You’re enthusiastic about leaving the whole 300-person wedding behind you, but maybe you’re a little bit worried about how to tell your friends and family. You love them dearly but you’re stressed that you might offend them if you don’t invite them to your elopement. It’s totally normal to feel that way, you’re not alone!

Hi, I’m Cherlyn, a Washington Elopement Photographer and I’ve done this whole elopement thing a time or two (wink). I’ve helped couples figure out how best to include their loved ones with grace and respect and I’m here to help you through this tricky situation with several options you can choose from!

There’s a few creative ways to include friends and family. Before we dive in let’s talk a little about this difficult situation. Choosing to elope means that you are choosing to prioritize celebrating your marriage in your way instead of someone else’s way. And that’s so exciting! And you can still value and respect your parents, family, and friends while eloping. It might take them some time to respect your wishes if they’ve dreamt of attending a big wedding, but eloping is realizing your dreams, not theirs! So how would you include them?

Invite your closest people

You can literally invite them! Eloping doesn’t mean no guests are allowed. Although typically when guest count goes over 25 people, then the focus tends to shift away from the couple. If you want to invite a small handful of guests, maybe your closest friends, those who mean the most to both of you, then by all means, invite them! A reminder: no one is entitled to attend your wedding. Being part of a friend group doesn’t mean that friends are automatically invited – assess how much they’ve impacted your lives and who you want to be there to support you through your elopement. Positive vibes only! 

How many people should you invite?

While this is entirely up to you, sometimes there’s a few factors other than which people you feel most comfortable to celebrate with you! National Parks have permits for limited people depending on location. The National Forest does not allow groups greater than 12 people. And otherwise, let your intention of your elopement guide this decision.

It’s super hard to whittle down a guest list from everyone at a big wedding to an intimate elopement. I personally recommend a guest count of 10 people to keep it special to you. Allocate time to spend with your guests and time to spend with your partner to minimize the overwhelm. Consider splitting the day in half or even over 2 days so that your attention is undivided and you can enjoy your elopement in the moment.

For elopements with no guests, consider asking a friend to officiate for you and 2 friends to be witnesses. By the way, I’m also ordained and can help sign off on your license if it’s just the two of you!

Ready to find out more about full-day elopements? Check out my Washington Elopement Photography Packages

Host a reception

This might be the most common way couples choose to include their friends and family. After eloping, take a moment to bask in becoming newly married. Then on a later date, rent out a restaurant or a party room and invite everyone over for small dinner and reception. Or maybe you can have a hang out at a brewery or a local park where everyone brings a potluck dish. Your loved ones would be thrilled to celebrate with you!

When to host a reception?

There’s no rule to say whether your reception must immediately proceed your ceremony. You can choose to elope and have your ceremony one day and then your reception the next day. Or you can also choose to have both on the same day. You can even choose to host your reception days or months later when it is most opportune for you.

Where to host a reception?

If you’re traveling to Washington for your elopement, perhaps your reception would be closer to your own home or where the majority of your friends and family live. An extra trip out to extended family is a great way to celebrate, especially with grandparents or family who cannot travel as far.

Receptions can be held at trailheads or campgrounds with large group capabilities. They can also be at a local venue or restaurant. You can host a bbq at a local park or even at home for a potluck. So many options!

Have them write you letters

For a unique way of including your loved ones, have them write you letters or record a message (audio or video) and read/listen to them during your elopement day. These love letters will help you feel close to them as they support your elopement from far away. Even when they’re not there to witness you two elope, they’re rooting for you!

Host a bachelor or bachelorette party

If you choose to elope, you can still have a party to celebrate before you get married. Friends love any excuse to get together and have a reason to go all out. Spend quality time with your closest friends before elopement when you’ll be spending quality time with just your partner!

Send announcements 

Who loves getting surprise snail mail? Whether a post or pre elopement announcement, let your friends and family know that you’re getting married and that you’re thinking of them! I love getting a couple sneak peeks early to couples so you can start sharing your special day soon after it happens. What better way than to send your favorite people something to put on their fridge to remember and celebrate your love?

 

I hope these ideas help relieve some stress for how best to include your friends and family in your elopement. There’s more creative ideas to include them in your own unique way. I’d be stoked to help you plan and have the best elopement day!